Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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