You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
