ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
My penis needs a shock collar
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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