shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize