I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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