When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
