Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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