dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
