went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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