My hand turned me down
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Be still, my beating vagina.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Randomize
