I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
