We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
