Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
