Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
