talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
