it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
