guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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