someone get that fucking seahorse.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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