Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
