Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
