I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
