So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Ketchup is God's man juice
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
