he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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