come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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