It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
This is my gift to your gina
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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