yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
im six kinds of drunk right now
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
