he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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