I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
