I am puke
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
