Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
