This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize