I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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