Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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