ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
