and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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