Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
