oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
