Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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