I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Randomize
