I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
