Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
