Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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