I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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