Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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