If that was your dad, he is hot
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Randomize
