apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
