this beer tastes like vomit already
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
