Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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