They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
