Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
