The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
