it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
