There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You've changed since you got that strap on
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
