We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
