I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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