So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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