she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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