Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
