anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
