peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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