Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
