Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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