This is not my ceiling
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
