The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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