Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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