couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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