Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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