I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
