Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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